A Bigger Presence

Maybe if I’d brought bigger presents

I’d have better memories of your childhood,

Not a hazy vision of you across a dark room,

As your mom grudgingly cracked the door.

Maybe if I’d wrapped them in larger boxes

I would have had more than a glimpse of you

Wringing your hands as I tried to look past

Your mother standing in the doorway.

Maybe if they'd been cumbersome presents,

I would have seen you more clearly

Your chestnut brown hair hanging in ringlets

When I strained to peer over her shoulder.

Maybe if I’d brought colossal presents

She would have been forced to open the door

Wider so that I could get an unobscured view

Of your familiar nose and fleshy cheeks.

Maybe if I’d brought you bulkier presents

I would have seen a sparkle in your hazel eyes,

Instead of the worried confusion and curiosity

I glimpsed as she quickly took my offerings.

Maybe if I had been a bigger presence

I would have been able to make sure

You received my affection. And

You would have seen the love in my eyes.

Naida Lavon

May 6, 2011