Choices

Talking about our marriages

18 years for me, 40 something for her

She thinks hers was successful because she "changed" her attitude

She made the choice to stay through the disrespect, minimization, sublimation

I chose to speak out and fight for my place,

refusing to accept the objectification,

the patriarchy

She chose to honor the culture of her upbringing

I chose to change the culture I was alienated from

He insisted that if I "changed" we would all be happy

She decided all would be happy if she changed

I was happier, but was anyone else?

(My son agreed it was best)

My Ex?

Too late he understood that we both should have changed

I didn't swallow the pain

She did

Neither of us won.

Naida Lavon

Dec. 2018